In a world where knowledge is power, one man stands above the rest, no, not Einstein, not Newton and not even ChatGPT (sorry, buddy). It’s none other than The Donald Trump himself. That’s right, folks! He has officially declared himself the Ultimate Authority on Everything.
At a recent rally, Trump took center stage and blessed the world with a never-before-seen level of wisdom, covering everything from taxes to nuclear weapons, steel workers to God Himself (yes, you read that right). As he gazed out at his adoring crowd, he proclaimed:
“Nobody knows more about knowing things than I do. I know things so well, people don’t even realize how well I know them. I know more about knowledge than anyone else. Believe me. And by the way, nobody knows more about believing than I do. People say, ‘Sir, how do you know so much?’ And I tell them, ‘It’s called being a genius.’”
And just when you thought it couldn’t get better, boom—turns out he’s got even more knowledge up his sleeve. Here are just a few things he now claims to be the ultimate expert on:
- Technology – “Nobody knows more about technology than me. Nobody in the history of this country has ever known so much about infrastructure as Donald Trump. I know the H-1B, I know the H-2B.”
- ISIS – “Nobody knows it better than me. I know more about ISIS than the generals do, believe me. I understand things, I comprehend very well, okay? Better than, I think, almost anybody.”
- Environmental impact statements – “And by the way, who knew the other side of the picture better than me? I knew it. Nobody knows more about environmental impact statements than me. I understand the power of Facebook, maybe better than almost anybody.”
- Renewable energy – “I know more about renewables than any human being on Earth. Nobody knows more about polls than me. I know more about courts than any human being on Earth.”
In his recent speech Trump took center stage and blessed the world with a never-before-seen level of wisdom, covering everything from taxes to nuclear weapons, steel workers to God Himself.
The most groundbreaking revelation came when Trump revealed his deep, unparalleled understanding of silence. “Nobody understands silence like I do,” he said, completely unironically, before continuing to talk for another two hours.
While some skeptics argue that perhaps Trump might be overestimating his expertise, his supporters remain in awe. One fan exclaimed, “If Trump says he knows everything, then I believe him! Who else would know more than him? Certainly not the so-called experts!”
Whether you love him, hate him, or just enjoy the never-ending circus, one thing is clear: when it comes to talking, Trump truly is the expert. And if you disagree? Well, let’s just say—nobody knows disagreements better than he does.
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